Telephone Call—leaked:

DT: Hi, Pute. Donnie here. Needed to chat.

Putin: Hi, Donnie. About what?

DT: You know about my problem with that broad, right?

Putin: Which one, Donnie?

DT: Oh, come on—you know. The Storm.

Putin (chuckling): Oh, yes, the one who spanked you. (chuckling again). Of course, we know what you like, ha, ha—showers and things like that.  Ha, ha.

DT: Hey, you said, you’d never . . . 

Putin: Ok, take it back; take it back. It’s just funny, given the spanking and how that must have gotten you off. Ha, ha.

DT: All right, all right.

Putin: So what do you want?

DT: I need to do a biggy tomorrow, and I just want you to know . . .

Putin: Ahhhhh. More tariffs? Nuke rocket boy?? Suspend communications with the U.K.?

DT: You know I have to do something against you.

Putin: Yes, yes, I knew why you were calling, my agents . . . 

DT: Yes, I’m going to have to kick some of them out—the spy thing and all that.

Putin: Mmmmm?

DT: About ninety—that should get some news.

Putin: Are you serious, Donnie? 

DT: I have to, Pute. I have to show you’re not running me . . . 

Putin: But, Donnie . . .

DT: Ok. Yes, I know. But . . . ok, seventy.

Putin: (pause) 60.

DT: Ok, 60; that will show them you’re not jerking my strings

Putin: But, Donnie . . .

DT: Yes, I know, but appearances, Pute.

Putin: And they really don’t have to leave right? Like the sanctions, right?

DT: Right. It’s just the news cycle—fake news.

Putin: Go ahead, Donnie. We’ll fix it up later at our meeting. Good time to take care of it.

DT: Thanks, Big Boy. I knew you’d understand.